NIMG (Not in My Garden)

Kim challenged us to post on the topic of NIMG. 

"Here are the "rules": Think about 5 (or 10, or 3, or however many come to mind) things that you really like but would never put into your own yard. Make a post that explains each thing and also tells why, much as you like each one, it will never appear in your garden."

Strangley VPH is much more opinated about these things that I am, so I asked him to chime in today and all he could give me was #4.

1. Gazing balls - I've seen some that I love and they look great.  Layanee seems to use them in various spots with great success, but with how small and structured our garden is, I just don't think I could get one to look "right."
2. Bird baths - I've seen some really cute ones and been really tempted to buy one, but I'm afraid of getting more mosquitoes (which we really don't need) and more bird poop on the patio furniture (which we really don't want).
3. Bird feeders - see poop issue above.
4. Koi pond - too much maintenance.  We had a 1/2 barrel pond with 3 goldfish and floating plants last year (Kim, I laughed as I read your NIMG example) and it was such a pain to keep the fountain clean, the water clear, and the floating plants from clumping together.  Never again and definitely not larger with bigger fish!
5. Bulbs of any kind - I love daffodils, hyacinths, etc., but we have such tree roots all over the property that VPH had to use an axe to dig holes for the few things we did plant in the ground.  I'm also not into so much effort for so short a return.  I picked up a few hyacinths from W-Mart this past spring and threw them in a pot on my desk at work and will probably do so again next year.  Plus we have moles and I just know that after hacking a hole in the ground and carefully planting a bulb, with our luck the moles would eat it.
6. Roses - love them, absolutely love them.  But they are a high-maintenance garden item in my opinion and I'm just not ready for that level of committment yet.  Maybe some day.
7. Corn - boy I would love to eat corn right off the stalk from my own garden, but once I figured out how many plants you need, the fact that you only get one ear from each stalk, the square footage required...yeah, so not going to happen. 
8. Angel statuary - some of it is absolutely lovely, but just not my style.  VPH would add here no frog statuary, but it's Heather's Garden and we must have frog statuary forthwith (anybody else see Ladykillers?).
9. Repurposed junk - some people are so creative using old bicycles, wheelbarrows, chairs, or beds as planters, but anything I did would just look like junk with flowers.  Of course, I've already put a plant in a watering can, so you never know what might happen.
10. Mums - oh crap too late.

So what's your list?  Leave Kim a comment if you decide to join in this meme.

Comments

[kim]

What a great list, Heather! I'm SO with you on the corn issue--I'm shameless about searching out locally grown sweet corn when the season hits, but even at the old house I couldn't grow my own. (Okay, I actually had the space there, but my NSVP(x)H forbid me to "turn this place into a farm.) Pfftt.

LOL at #10. That's how I feel about my roses--crap, too late!

[layanee]

Heather; I had to laugh at that Mum comment! I think the gazing globe thing has to do with age. When I was a child, the neighbor had a green globe and it was eye level. I saw other worlds in that thing and have loved these tacky things ever since! The one in my garden that you can see in the grass post was given to me by the Equipment Manager on our 25th wedding anniversary so it has special meaning! I have only ceramic globes that are non-reflective other than that one...is that too much information? Anyway, I liked your list and will work on one of my own!

[Mummer]

Oh, what a great idea! First of all, I have to get past the fact that I have never voluntarily planted a garden - this was all xSO's doings.
At least I agree with you all on this - I do not, and will not have statuary in my plot...now what do I with my concrete egrets
and garden angels?